Cooking at the Kleckner Household

Cooking. Aaah cooking. It seems like cooking for your family should be so fulfilling and satisfying. In the movies people pour themselves a glass of red wine while they cook...pouring just a little into the bubbling goodness on the stove for added flavor and depth (oooh la la!). When everything finishes cooking at exactly the same time (say what?) it is plated (yes - plate as a verb) with lemon wedges and a sprig of rosemary. They grab the plate of beautifully plated food, the glass of wine and sit down at their perfectly set table (cloth napkins, gasp!) to eat a candlelit dinner with the ones they love. Is that Etta James I hear singing softly in the background? Indeed.

Sigh.

I’m going to share stories from my kitchen with you occasionally on What’s a Neko?. Successes, failures and everything in between. Complete with reviews from my dear husband and three live-in amateur food critics. The posts will not have anything to do with plating my food I promise...but may include drinking wine because...kids.

My husband and I try to eat healthy: low carb, high veggies, protein, some fat, you get the picture. However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Far, far from it. This is what cooking looks like at my house...

I find a semi-healthy recipe that I’m 96.8% sure my kids won’t eat. But I figure, maybe this time will be different! Or, maybe I can bribe them with a Teen Titans Go marathon after dinner if they eat it. Or Keurig produced hot chocolate? Or - if the stars are aligned - maybe we have Grandma Sharon chocolate chip cookies hiding in our freezer, just waiting to be used as a bribe. And I proceed with my fingers crossed and a semi-healthy recipe in hand.

This recipe likely includes chopping (which I LOVE!) but the 500 steps in the recipe require more time than I anticipate of course. So dinner is late and the kids come to the table already hangry (hungry and angry) because they are on the verge of death from starvation. And then. Then. They see their plate of food. Have you ever had a human being shed legit tears just at the sight of something you’ve painstakingly prepared for them? No? Well good for you, congratulations on your perfect life. Yes? Well, let’s just hold each other for a moment, shall we?

With sadness in their eyes my three lovely children start to poke at their food. Almost always, one kid kinda likes it, one kid tolerates it and one kid is either enraged over it or crying over it. And it is never the same kid, they rotate positions which is fun. The meal ends with me throwing some raw vegetables on the table and forcing them to eat at least three before they even think of leaving the table. And bargaining over how many bites of the wretchedness they have to eat to be able to earn their bribe.

So what is my motivation to even try? I can see you shaking your head and saying, why Neko? Why would you put yourself through this every night? You are so sweet for thinking I would do this to myself every night. Oh sweet baby Jesus, I would not. In between my creative meals I will throw in a Soup Sunday or a Taco Tuesday or a Chicken Tender Thursday (that’s not a thing, just play along). But when I actually do cook this is the usual scenario.

Welcome to my life, I’m happy you are here. Stay tuned for more creative genius out of my kitchen (note sarcasm).

Until next time,

Neko

P.S. My eldest read this post over my shoulder and said, “Mom, this might be a slight  exaggeration.” Yes, my dear, it is a *slight* exaggeration.